THREE WAYS TO HANDLE YOUR TRIGGERS DIFFERENTLY:
Do you get triggered?
You’re not alone.
However it’s how we show up when we’re triggered that makes the difference to how this affects our lives.
Here’s three ways to handle triggers differently to create more peace and happiness for yourself and those around you:
1 – PAUSING
Next time you feel yourself triggered remind yourself of the immense power of the “pause.”
Consciously taking even just a few seconds to PAUSE before you choose to act when triggered can make a huge difference.
Taking this moment of pause can be the deciding factor on whether you choose to react (ie: re-act the same typical response of anger or defense)
OR . . .
whether you choose to take a pause to allow yourself to respond from a more measured, centred and grounded place.
So before a triggered response flies out of your mouth, or you respond too quickly to that text message or email . . . remember to PAUSE.
Breathe.
Breathe deeply into your lower belly.
Move your body.
Shift the energy of the trigger.
Get out of the story you’re running in mind and take a precious moment to pause and reset.
Remember as a good as it may feel (in the moment) to release that anger/frustration/upset energy that arises within you– there is no taking the words back after a triggered reaction.
And if you’re honest with yourself - how often do you regret it after you’ve written a heated reply or said something rash in the heat of the moment?
2 – OWNERSHIP
Choosing to own that the trigger you are experiencing is “yours” is a game changer.
In other words, owning that it is your emotions, your feelings and your thoughts that are creating the trigger within you.
The other person is not triggering you, you are triggering yourself in the face of them with how you are processing the experience internally.
When we own our thoughts, our feelings and ultimately our triggers in this way we empower ourselves. Even just speaking this out loud “Just give me a moment I’m feeling really triggered right now” can shift the experience as it allows you to become objective to the trigger, rather than subject to it.
Interesting to note, when we don’t “own” our trigger and blame another for it, eg: “You’ve made me feel so angry” we disempower ourselves by attempting to avoid responsibility and transfer the triggered experience onto them.
Yes they may be acting in a way that you are experiencing as provoking for you – however you get to choose how you show up in relation to their words and actions (see next point . . .)
3 – SELF-ENQUIRY
Often the trigger you experience is based upon an unresolved circumstance from a past experience that is sitting in your unconscious.
This past story then gets triggered within you unknowingly by another’s words and actions. What this means is - your reaction to something refers back to this previous circumstance, which often you are unaware of.
For example: In the past you’ve felt “let down” by a partner before who didn’t come to an important event with you. Now when your current girl/boyfriend says they can’t make it to your Grandma’s funeral, your past experience of “being let down” is triggered and feeds into the intensity of your heated reaction in the moment.
So the next time you’re triggered, the invitation is to practise self-enquiry around the experience. Check in with yourself and ask “What is this trigger bringing up from my past that I haven’t resolved or looked at?”
Also consider “Is the intensity of my trigger worthy of this situation or is there something from the past also playing into this?”
An invitation:
If getting triggered is creating discomfort for you in your life and challenges in your relationships I’d love to support you in 1:1 or group coaching, reach out via socials or email me at louisewalker@outlook.com to find out more.
Learning about The Enneagram would also be highly valuable if you experience yourself getting triggered. The Enneagram is a map of human nature featuring nine distinct personality types (egoic structures). Each personality type has specific triggers and fears and discovering your Enneagram personality type and the related challenges is an extremely powerful self-awareness journey. Next one day Enneagram retreat is in Byronshire Sat Oct 7th.
Early bird tickets for one day Enneagram retreat at $200 available here